WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM

Most favorite commercial. Complete FAIL at impersonating this guy's voice. Don't know how he does it.

Any excuse to talk about Wu-Tang

STOKED to see the field marshal of the Wu-Tang Clan, the RZA, still making music. Especially when it's with the Black Keys, a generally bad ass--but occasionally disappointing--blues-rock band. The band is collaborating with various black people (Mos Def, Jim Jones, etc.) to make a rock-rap album called Blakroc. The album will, inshallah, not join the ranks of other rock-rap albums. In all serious, it should be awesome. The project has 7 videos up on youtube and the best is, not surprisingly, RZA's. Pitchfork has a track from Mos Def here. What made you think the guy who engineered 36 Chambers wouldn't have the best song on this album?

Also, there's something to be said about the name of this project. Blakroc? As in black people making rock music? Just sayin'.

No excuse, the black man must stand up. Time to make the Wu-sign, throw both yall hands up

No homo

So maybe I like this show. What's it to ya? In any event, this is one of the more bizarre routines, but definitely a favorite.

That'll just about do it

The "Murder Castle"? Whoa.

This story about H.H. Holmes and his Murder Castle is crazy. Definitely reminds me of a combination of the Saw movies and The Silence of the Lambs with the twisted death traps set among a labyrinthine floor plan.

All I want to know is: does this stuff still exist? I could be totally off here, but it seems to me that killing people and experimenting on their bodies was commonplace in the 19th century (is this really a bad thing? Isn't there something to be said for scientific progress?). Anyway, this dude even tried to make Murder Castle Part 2 in Texas when the heat was on him in Chicago, which signifies two things to me: 1.) money was loose and easy in the late 1800's and 2.) Murder Castles abounded.

Now think back to about 2002-2007 when our economy was smokin'--what two things did we have? We had loose and easy money and we had way too many homes being built.

Just sayin'

Read this book

Best book I've read in a while. Will take you less than a day.

P.S. Pulitzer Prize

P.P.S. Cool points for reading before the movie comes out

No, seriously, I'm really busy

I saw a picture of Billy Corgan today and I was wondering to myself--why does he look like a vampire? Could it be that he has alopecia? Did he play Powder in the eponymous film? Is he an albino? At this point I started googling albinos and spent a good 5 minutes before I realized what a fucking weirdo I am. But this was before I found a crazy picture of Indonesian albinos and proceeded to search for pictures of albinos of all races.

The fruits of my labor...

Brazil

Indonesia

China (...don't ask)

Afghanistan (dyed hair)

South Africa

India

Fiji

Panama

New Zealand (Wonderland?)

New Jersey

Da Vinci Code

Nice. Good work here.

Glenn Beck is Smart

Glenn Beck's at it again. Gotta love him. It's remarkable to see someone so unfamiliar with a subject attack it with such imprudent abandon. Beck's show is the daily embodiment of a screamer video where he catches wind of something, literally anything, and reflexively wigs out. Trying to write a wrap-up of this guy's show is seriously hard. At first I thought I would criticize all of the things he said, but there are too many and they're too ridiculous to take seriously. So then I tried to summarize the clip, but about halfway through it becomes completely scatterbrained and impossible to summarize. Anyway, I figured this picture did a good a job as any at capturing Glenn Beck in this clip and in general.


In all seriousness, it's well known that meat, particularly red meat, is bad for the environment because cows produce a lot of methane (greenhouse gas) and demand enormous amounts of land for grazing (contributing to deforestation). As a noticeably chubby guy, Beck should be able to get behind ( or maybe just the opposite) a push by schools to eliminate meat that is often high in unhealthy saturated fat and cholesterol. Additionally, Baltimore is a poor city meaning the students are more likely to have their health care paid for by the government. Efforts to improve their health would undoubtedly result in less cost.

Win-win.

Catch of the Day!

If you watch The Office you may remember "Grotti" from last week's Mafia episode. He looked familiar and I finally realized, today the gym (what?), where I knew him...



Recognize him?

Hint: rat poison

Hint: Dumb & Dumber

SPIRIT FINGERS

The happiest boy to ever get a 6'4" black man for Christmas

Good Music Today #2

Good Music Today #1

Notes on NLDS Game 3

Hitting
If it weren't for Cliff Lee, I wouldn't bother summarizing the other sections, because the Phils' hit the Dodgers like Chris Brown hit Rihanna. Everyone hit (including Clifford) with the exception of Rauuul who scored a run anyway. Shane, Werth crushed HRs and Ryan Howard hit a triple. Everyone mocks the Phillies for having a small ballpark, but if Ryan Howard hit a triple on an errorless play with no bad bounces then I guess it's not that small after all (I find myself saying more and more often recently). Also of note, the Big Man is now in the record books as being the first player to have an RBI in 7 consecutive playoff games in the same year. Mazol tov.

Fielding
Nothing to report here. Lee allowed only 3 hits and no BBs turning the basepaths a ghost town.

Pitching
Another dominating performance by a Phillies starter. Lee's control and variability were pretty much as good as they get.

Relieving
Chad Durbin wiped up the Dodgers with a 1-2-3 9th inning to seal an embarrassing loss for LA.

Conclusion
What was it? Philly fans? Cold weather? Something juiced the Phils' system--and not in the same way as Manny Ramirez--to power them to a brutalizing victory over the Dodgers. Let's hope they break out the bats again on Monday night.

Favorite Sunny Clips #2

Jesus Chomsky

Oops, forgot a comma...or did I?

Either way, no one would ever accuse Noam Chomsky of making flippant remarks or offering unthoughtful opinions. That being said, you have to wonder what he was thinking by Godwin's Law recently by invoking Nazi Germany in a political discussion.



Perhaps not always a faux pas, the reference of or comparison to Nazism is increasingly cringe-worthy the more we become removed from it. As we step farther away from that time period, Hitler and Nazism grow in our historical perspective as the ultimate villains. He is, according to our current social calculation, the unquestionable prototypical enemy. Though, in practice, other political and economic systems are more inverse to our own than Nazism (read: Communism); eugenics and the selective elimination of social segments makes it an unparalleled foil. Looking behind us, the social significance of Nazism grows as we blunder through purportedly noble interventions in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan. The solidarity, sacrifice, and commitment to battling Nazism that resulted in its vanquish makes it a paragon of the American way. As a result, comparisons to Hitler are almost always exaggerated and almost always in poor taste.

In regards to Chomsky, it's surprising to hear him compare the right-wing media (Fox News, the radio) to the transition from the Weimar Republic to Nazi Germany. Forget the point he's making, no one has ever won an argument with a Hitler comparison. Hitler was unique and, as mentioned, too important in our historical landscape to use in a contentious comparison to media bias. For a guy so erudite, this is embarrassingly low-brow.

Dodgers Fans

Not nearly enough can be said about the utter stupidity of this fan base. Whether it's their insouciant insistence on showing up in the 3rd and leaving in the 8th or their obsession with batting around beach balls like autistic children distracted by butterflies.

Then, of course, there's the general lack of understanding or appreciation for the game of baseball. There's no hallmark for a front-running, ignorant fan base than one that boos a pitcher checking a runner for the first time. I understand booing on the second, third, fourth times, but there's absolutely no reason to boo on the first throw. It's an integral part of baseball to either nab a greedy baserunner or shorten his lead. Repeated throws can slow the pace of the game, but booing on one throw is irritating and uncalled for. In addition to this herd of retards (read: entire crowd), you have idiots like the guy who stood behind me heckling Joe Blanton. Eventually I had to respond and our exchange went like this:

Queef: "HEY JOE! HOW'S THAT ERA BABY? YEAH I HOPE THEY PUT YOU IN! GAME OVER!"
Q: "HEY JOE! WHY AREN'T YOU A STARTER ANYMORE? STILL HURT? YEAH TOO MANY LOSSES MAYBE"
Me: "Man, Blanton's ERA was around 4 [4.05] and he was the Phils' most consistent starter."
Q: "Yeah, but he went like 4-12."
Me; "Nah, he had a winning record. More like 12-10 [12-8]."
Q: "Nah, he lost like his first 7 games and went like 10-9."
Me: "No he didn't. You have no idea what you're talking about."

Blanton went 4-3 in his first 7 decisions and remained injury-free for the season.

No post about Dodgers fans would be complete without mentioning the foundation of this esteemed fan base, the magma at the center of their planet, the nucleus of their atom, the Glenn Beck of their hysteria: the Mexican thug. Easily the most classless of all baseball fans, these dudes show up to the game to toss beach balls, threaten opposing fans, and throw gang signs. There is report after report of men, women, and children being harassed in addition to not-infrequent stabbings and shootings on stadium grounds. While walking to the bathroom in the middle of the 8th I had a passer-by comment, "Fuck the Pheelies. Yo ah poossies." Right to my face. As he was walking out of the stadium with his team down 2 and at bat. Seriously pathetic.

Philly fans get a bad rap, but there is not segment of our fan base that rivals these guys. There's no fan base anywhere in the US that rivals these guys...except the Raiders. And guess what football team Dodgers thugs root for...

Notes on NLDS Game 2

Hitting
Our boys did not hit today. With the exception of Big Brown hitting a solo shot and roping a line drive to right field, the Phils were stymied. Contributing hits came only from Chase and the ever-increasingly clutch Chooch who had yet another good night.

Fielding
Fielding was at typical strength throughout Pedro's tenure even though he repeatedly opted for the easy out over the double play. However, for the second time in as many nights, Chase blew a routine double-play throw from second that allowed the tying run to score. Feliz also muffed a grounder in the 8th that was obstructed by the lattice shading of the field's lights and would allow a runner on base.

Pitching
STUNNING. Pedro, obviously inspired by my last post, threw 7 shutout innings allowing only 2 hits, no BB, and 3 K. For whatever reason Pedro was pulled leading into the 8th despite lacking any signs of struggle and with only 87 pitches thrown. Manuel's decision only led to...

Relieving
More problems. Not one reliever (out of 5) threw commandingly (saving Durbin who popped out Manny on one pitch) as they collectively allowed 2 R, 3 H, and 2 BB over a single inning.

Conclusion
Even though the boys weren't hitting tonight, responsibility for this loss clearly lies with Utley and Manuel. Utley's defense has been uncharacteristically bad, while Charlie's decision to sit Pedro is baffling. The bright spots of the team, other than Pedro, remain Howard and Ruiz who have remained clutch in the driver's seat. On the other hand, Rollins and Werth really need to generate more hits to help this team win.

Pedro Martinez

Watching Pedro pitch effectively and efficiently in the 5th inning here in game 2, I don't think I'm alone in saying I can't get enough of this guy. Pedro's unquestionably one of the greatest to ever play the game and, some may argue, the very best while in his prime, but I'm not here to debate that. What's important is we remind ourselves how happy we are to have Pedro's Professor Xavier-esque cerebral control over batters, his gamesmanship, and most importantly, his absurd fashion sense.


Now, I won't claim to be a particularly adept fashion critic, but seriously, what the fuck is Pedro wearing here? Maybe it all makes sense: the Ed Hardy t-shirt (and long-sleeve shirt??) is pretty much the uniform for the party-guy with an ethnic heritage; the flares because he's Latino; and the man-purse and pointy leather shoes because he's not American. This, of course, is to say nothing of the fact that he may be the last living person wearing jheri curls.

But the man can't be reduced to his style when he sports out of the game's most outsized, candid, and hilarious personalities:



Was Pedro always 188? Um, maybe not...

Republicans vs. US Olympics

President Obama visited Denmark this week to meet with the International Olympic Committee in an attempt to persuade them to choose Chicago as the site of the 2016 Olympics. Republican punditry was on the case quickly with reasons to...not have the Olympics here?

At first, I found Republican opposition to Chicago's 2016 Olympic bid sincerely baffling, but it clearly stems from the summer's Tea Party movement that grew from an ostensible rejection of high deficit spending and the prospect of higher taxes. The movement, seemingly engineered by Glenn Beck and stoked by FOX News, manifested in the deep-seated Republican distrust of the Obama administration and grew to a debatable size, but one that was fairly large nonetheless. Tea partiers ended the protest season with a finale on the mall in DC. Widespread public support evaded the movement largely because its body of supporters were less small-government advocates as they were anti-Obama advocates.

Squaring the circle: negative Republican sentiment towards the Olympics was less a reflection of fiscal concerns and more an expression of difference against Obama. Republican pundits insisted that a Chicago Olympics would greatly inflate an infirm city/state budget, was unwanted by the citizens, and would serve to benefit Chicago's infamous corruption racket. While these are perfectly reasonable arguments, it is entirely unreasonable to accept the pundits' integrity. Beck, Hannity, et al, were evidently not opposed to the Olympics in the United States, but were opposed to Obama's cachet, Obama's hometown, and Obama's Chicago colleagues. Drudge, for instance, linked to a poll indicating a near-50/50 split in opinion among Chicagoans the day before the IOC's decision. The day the IOC announced Chicago did not win, Drudge's super-headline read "THE EGO HAS LANDED." Clever, no doubt. Then on Hannity they had Michelle Malkin on talking about Obama bringing cabinet-member and fellow Chicagoan Valerie Jarrett to Denmark to stump for the Olympics. The material on Jarrett was whether or not she's possibly potentially maybe a slum-lord.

I'm convinced the antagonism of Chicago's bid was manufactured to again resist Obama at every step. For a party that virtually claims the copyright to patriotism, they've done a knock-up job kneecapping American triumphalism.

Favorite Sunny Clips #1

The Feelies - Crazy Rhythms

Ignoring the advice of poker players and negotiators alike, I'll start by showing you my hand: Crazy Rhythms is one of the best albums I've ever heard.

With that out of the way, The Feelies first release is a remarkably distinctive and prodigious effort amid the indie rock spectrum. Its blending of post-punk and new wave stylings forged a record that lacks the heavy reverb and high-pitched vapidity of the respective genres. At the same time, the album's sound is a towering soundscape layering crisp, ringing guitars over a diverse and exceedingly tight rhythm section. However, the constantly shifting song structure is one of the album's strengths with The Feelies to leap from climaxing arpeggios (Loveless Love) to extended drum solos (Crazy Rhythms) that never evince pretension.

Topping the instrumentation is brilliantly quirky vocalwork mimicking the manic emotionality of teenage years. Drifting from shy nervousness (The Boy with the Perpetual Nervousness) to boisterousness (Raised Eyebrows) to feeling invisibile (Crazy Rhythms), the album is the perfect expression of a high school outsider (see: cover art).

Ultimately, Crazy Rhythms is kinetic, but masterfully controlled; brimming with energy, but carefully contained. With the exception of two covers (Everybody's Got Something to Hide, Paint it Black) that are easily skipped in favor of far more interesting tracks, Crazy Rhythms is The Feelies' masterpiece.

Try

New Blog

Hello blog. I made you as a venue to maintain (improve) my writing and critical (layman) thinking ability, as well as to allow for some creative output should the urge strike me. My plan is to post music, books, and things I like; comment on current events; ruminate on things from everyday issues to the existential problems of the white suburban-raised; and probably whine about unemployment. At least blogspot domains are free.